I knew I had to talk to her but I was scared. She had long blonde hair, a cute face, and a nice body. Definitely my “type”.
Familiar concepts—things you “know you should know” about talking to girls—started running through my head. Like how it doesn’t make rational sense to get nervous before talking to a girl; in theory there’s no reason to be scared. But knowing how you should feel doesn’t always make you feel that way. I was still scared.
The girl got off the treadmill and went over to another part of the gym. She was wearing yoga pants and her ass looked really good. I kept hesitating and thought, “Ok, I’ll talk to her when she comes back through”. Later she walked back through the gym but I didn’t talk to her then either.
I thought she’d gone and was thinking “Fuck I missed my opportunity”, but then I looked over and saw her running on an elliptical near the front of the gym. This was my last chance.
She had headphones in and was going pretty hard on the elliptical. It was an awkward situation and definitely not ideal. But something came to mind which I have always found useful: Don’t worry about being smooth—real life isn’t smooth.
So I tell myself, “Just go get your phone from your bag, then go talk to her. But first, just go get your phone, then take it from there. That’s easy.” I walked over to my bag and took my phone out, then started having some strange thoughts about the nature of the situation I was in.
I imaged my life from that moment splitting into two possible paths based on the two options I had (approach the girl or pussy out). The image of a forest path forking in two with autumn leaves blowing around in the wind actually came up in my head. I thought about how things would turn out in one of two ways depending on my decision, but that I had no way of knowing where either path went.
(This was about a week after my extremely strange spiritual experience in the same gym. In that context these thoughts are not that weird)
Who knows what would’ve happened if I hadn’t approached the girl (probably nothing), but in the end I made the right decision. I walked up beside the elliptical she was running on, made eye contact and got her attention. She looked confused and took out her earbuds.
I said, “Hey I just thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you”, and she kind of laughed and said “Thank you”. I then expected her to stop running in order to talk, but she didn’t.
After we exchanged names I moved around the elliptical so we would be facing each other. I was standing in place about 5 feet from this girl, talking to her while she kept running on the elliptical. It was already loud in the gym and this combined with the sound of her elliptical meant she couldn’t hear me that well.
Nevertheless, she told me she was from the Czech Republic and was studying in Thailand. I told her I was from Canada and that I make money on the internet. We made small talk but she did not stop running the entire time.
In the moment I felt like it should have been the most awkward thing ever, but it somehow wasn’t. I actually felt so OK with the situation (for some reason) that it was like nothing could go wrong. If something did go wrong, then that would be OK too.
She asked how long I was staying at the gym, and I said I told her I would come grab her before I left. On the way out I got her number and texted her while in traffic on the way home.
So we text back and forth and then switch to WhatsApp. I’m back at my apartment by this point, and almost immediately she offers to give me a Thai massage (!)
At first I can’t believe it, and think that maybe there’s some kind of cultural difference I’m not aware of. I met this very attractive girl 2 hours ago and now she wants to give me a massage? It seems too good to be true, so then I start to get suspicious.
I have worrying thoughts like “What if she’s trying to scam me” or “What if she works for gangsters who are going to rob me”. This escalates to “What if I show up at her place and get kidnapped by Eastern European human traffickers who steal my organs” (haha)
We agree to meet up later on that week. I texted her again the day before to confirm, but she didn’t respond and nothing ever came of it. In hindsight, I probably should have been more persistent.
Although this approach didn’t go anywhere, there’s an important lesson in here for all of us (me included): Don’t worry about being smooth! It doesn’t matter.
Even if the circumstances where you meet a girl are extremely “awkward” (mine certainly were) it has no bearing on what will happen afterwards. Keep that in mind and good luck!
What do you think? Is being “smooth” overrated? Have you ever had an approach get awkward? Did it work out in the end? Let us know in the comments below.