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Freedom and Fulfilment

Personal Development, Spirituality & Psychedelics

Stream of Consciousness

November 5, 2016 By Aaron 2 Comments

Write when you’re drunk, he says.

Write from the heart, he says.

Write when you don’t feel like it

 

Will I be a millionaire? Will I be a billionaire? Am I crazy for writing this and posting about it on the internet?

Tell the truth of your experience, he says.

I want to fuck beautiful girls. I want to feel good music. I want to spread love.

Bukowski wrote about sex, down and dirty. Can I be like that?

Rum and coke, down the hatch. Was he successful because of the alcohol or in spite of it?

Can we do it? I think often.

Can we fix it? All the problems. Really all of them.

How much suffering can we alleviate in the coming future? Can we change consciousness on a grand scale and make things fundamentally different?

Writing never comes out well the first time. Comes out good, I mean.

Can we create some technology or system that fundamentally affects every or almost every human being on a deep level and changes everything for the better? Is that possible?

Reality is nothing but agreement on ideas. Agree on different ideas and you have a different reality.

Psychedelics can do it, but it’s hard to get people to take psychedelics. Is there something we can make with the same effect that people will take instead?

I love house music. Plato believed there was something fundamental about music and the human soul – a connection where music affects the soul uniquely in a way that nothing else can.

(I asked a friend about this and he said no, that’s not interesting, couch it in personal experience, don’t just explain the concept!)

But let’s see what happens. You can, according to Plato, condition good and bad behaviour into human beings by associating these behaviours with pleasure and pain.

Can we do that? Is that the best way to structure society?

Will we get an opportunity to structure new societies in our lifetime? On Earth, not likely. But how about on Mars?

Thought experiment: Elon Musk makes you commander in chief of his new Mars society in 2035. What do you do? How are things set up? Interesting to think about.

Write about things that are raw. Don’t get into Master’s programs because you tell sex stories on your blog. Take an alternate path, even though it might be harder. Might be less rewarding. Who knows.

(That’s speculation)

3+ Years. Is what I think it takes to make a site get big. We’ll see what happens with this one. If it doesn’t, might have to reconsider what I’m doing.

Not presentable. This text isn’t presentable. Normally my shit is quite presentable, edited and gone over a few times. Polished. This is rough instead. Raw. I hope.

Can I be a truly great writer? Self doubt is pervasive. Can I be a truly great anything?

Self doubt is pervasive but so is self belief. Like they’re fighting one another, back and forth, day-to-day. Interesting to watch it happen, but sucks being pulled one way then the other.

It’s hopeless!

It’s incredible!

It’s hopeless again!

No, it’s incredible!

Make up your fucking mind.

And you don’t know until later, and by that time it doesn’t matter anymore whether you reached the goal or not. It doesn’t matter because you’ve moved on to something else – something else for self doubt and self belief to fight over.

Do I get another drink?

Am I going to post this?

Does it matter?

In any case, let’s keep going.

That set of artwork where the artist makes a different painting on all different types of drugs. People seemed to like that. Maybe I should do that with writing. Might be kind of fun. Less striking though.

Funny balance between what you do and what you want people to imagine you do. Or what you imagine you do and what you imagine people imagine you do.

The private life of any person seems crazy when you see it from the backstage right.

Is there a balance between being truthful and making things useful?

Is there contradiction between success and moral good?

I never stop asking questions like these. Sometimes I wish I was in a less doubtful *incarnation*, even if there was less going on. It gets tiring, questioning all the time.

Is this interesting? I always ask people. What I realized recently I really mean is, Would you want to read a blog post about this?

What do you do when your life is wrapped up in something so crazy that you don’t even understand? Where’s this going? What do I do?

Rambling on and on. I wonder how many of you will read this. Probably a few hundred, at least. Quite wild.

(Sorry to waste your time :)

Better posts coming next week.

Peace.

P.S. If you scrolled straight to the bottom, don’t go back up and read this instead

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aaron-ff Hey, my name is Aaron and welcome to my site.

I created Freedom & Fulfilment to write about my experience and share ideas on self improvement, spirituality, and how we can create the best lives for ourselves and others.

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