When you take drugs, the simplest things in life can turn into some of the most profound.
Sunday afternoon: I’m lying on the floor of my apartment, staring at the ceiling. My arms are outstretched, zombie-style, and a full-length black foam roller is spinning around and around in my hands.
I had laid down planning to roll my back out, but instead began to examine the foam roller very, very closely.
I inspected it from every angle, and came to appreciate its aesthetic appeal. All the little pieces of foam, glued together into a cylinder and died black. The symmetry of it was beautiful.
It looked like a monument or an obelisk from some alien civilization; like something out of the movie Prometheus. It was uniform and smooth, solid and compact. And yet so light at the same time.
Incredible.
Earlier that morning, I had taken about 110µg of LSD. Placed the little white square under my tongue and let it dissolve. 110µg is not a particularly large dose, but this was my first time.
What an absolute wonder of the universe, I thought, as I looked at the foam roller. How extraordinary that man could produce this in a factory somewhere, and then that I could have it right here in my living room, ready to help me roll out my back.
I saw the foam roller for all it really was: a tool to support me in life. It didn’t have any other use. The foam roller’s only purpose was to help me become a better person.
Maybe I had understood this before on an intellectual level, but now I internalized it.
And then I thought,
Shouldn’t everything in life be just like the foam roller?
Do you own a TV? Why? How many clothes do you own? How many clothes do you own that you don’t wear? How many books do you own that you don’t read? You own a computer, but how often do you use it in a way that supports you?
Owning things doesn’t make you fulfilled.
But I don’t need to tell you that.
Owning things doesn’t give you freedom, either. Nine times out of ten owning more things takes away from your freedom.
But this doesn’t just apply to material possessions. It applies to everything.
People.
Thoughts.
Habits.
Behaviours.
The websites, books, and other media you expose yourself to.
If it’s not there to support you in becoming a better person, why is it there at all?
A [person, belief, thought, behaviour, whatever] does one of three things.
It either A) helps you be better, B) makes you worse, or C) does nothing at all.
For A): Keep it.
For B): Get rid of it.
For C): It seems like it has no effect, but it is taking up your time and energy while giving you nothing in return. Get rid of it.
Consider that the next constructive step on your journey might not be to add something to your life, but to take something out.
This might seem obvious, but understanding something intellectually is different from internalizing it.
Internalizing it means you act on it.
It can take months or years to internalize a life changing belief or concept. But a drug experience can make it happen in an instant.
More on LSD
Alan Watts Audio Archives
If you are planning on taking LSD I would highly recommend that you listen to some talks by Alan Watts beforehand. The best collection is Out of Your Mind: Essential Listening from the Alan Watts Audio Archives
None of my psychedelic experiences would have been 1/10th as resourceful or profound without first listening to these tapes. Alan Watts is the only speaker or writer I have ever come across who can accurately describe the experience of an LSD trip in a way that can be understood by the sober, rational mind. His insights provide you with the tools to help you better understand your experience, and in doing so help you to better understand yourself.
The Varieties of Psychedelic Experience
This is a book written by two professors who were active in the experimentation with LSD in controlled psychiatric settings that was done before it became illegal. The best parts are the firsthand accounts from the participants in these experiments, as well as the accounts from the guides of their trips. There are some truly remarkable life-altering experiences described, and the data presented will make you question the motives behind the outlawing of LSD. This book is one of a kind, and these types of studies will likely never be replicated. It is a fascinating read.
Related posts:
1P-LSD: My Experience – Trip Report (50ug)
Microdosing LSD for 30 Days: Better Energy, Mood, Creativity and Productivity