I’m a fan of Frank Yang and have followed him for quite a while. As weird as he can be, he often deals with concepts and combinations of concepts that almost no one else talks about.
A lot of his work explores consciousness, spirituality and lifting, all mixed in together. I can get down with that.
In this video, Frank Yang talks about the fear that comes from the current ego having to die for a stronger one to emerge. Check it out:
Today’s heavy leg day.. Pretty much every leg day is like going on a date with yourself.
I realized that every time before a heavy squat workout, I feel anxious. I reckon it’s the same kind of anxiety that you feel before a date with a girl, or when you have a job interview. I’m not really afraid of the girl, or the weights… What I’m really afraid of is confronting the weaker version of myself.
This is the paradox brought on by the meta (self-conscious) nature of bodybuilding: if I get a PR, then my current ego would be destroyed by the newer one, which means I’m really the weakling right now and should be scared, shitless. If I don’t get a PR but am expecting to get one, then my current perception of myself is flawed, and I should be scared too, right now, at this very moment. So either way I’m screwed.”
In the video Frank Yang talks about lifting, but what he describes applies to any aspect of personal development.
You get scared whenever you’re going to “become a stronger version of yourself” because the old you is going to die. To become a better person, the “you” that you are now (or a part of it) has to die.
People don’t like to talk about it, but real personal development literally means becoming a different person.
This means that the person you are now isn’t going to exist anymore. When the ego has to face this, the result is that “you” get scared.
You’re scared that you might not be able to handle it, or that will be too much to deal with. You’re uncertain as to whether or not you’ll really be able to be that person that you want to become.
But then you wonder, what’s it really like to be that person? There’s only one way to find out, and you’re the only one who can.
The choice is yours, every step of the way. And it’s always up to you.